my buddy tony sent me this
e-mail chain from craigslist
about nigerian scammers.
it's long but fantastic.
read below:
DEAR SIR,
MY NAME IS MR ADAKU OGEIBRI,
THE FIRST SON OF LATE MR
NDIBEYA
OGEIBRI,AFORMER DIRECTOR OF
ADMINISTRATION AND FINANCE
IN THE ALADJA STEEL ROLLING
MILL IN EFURUN NEAR WARRI,
DELTA STATE OF NIGERIA WHO
DIED IN AN EAS BAC11 PLANE
CRASH ON MAY, 4TH 2005.I
HAVE JUST RECENTLY BEEN
INFORMED BY MY LATE FATHER'S
BANKING OFFICER THAT THE OLD
MAN OPERATED A SECRET
ACCOUNT WITH THE BANK INTO
WHICH A TOTAL SUM OF SEVEN
MILLION EIGHT HUNDRED
THOUSAND UNITED STATES
DOLLARS (US$7,800,000) WAS
TRANSFERED AND CREDITED IN
HIS FAVOUR. I HAVE NOW BEEN
ADVICED BY THE BANKING
OFFICER TO SEEK IN
CONFIDENCE A FOREIGN ACCOUNT
INTO WHICH THIS FUND COULD
BE TRANSFERED FOR SAFE
KEEPING TO AVOID A LEAK FROM
THE HIS FORMER EMPLOYERS.
IT HAS BEEN RESOLVED THAT
25% WILL BE YOUR SHARE FOR
NOMINATING AN ACCOUNT FOR
THIS PURPOSE AND ANY OTHER
ASSISTANCE YOU GIVE IN THAT
REGARD, 5% HAS BEEN SLATED
FOR REIMBURSEMENT OF ALL
LOCAL AND INTERNATIONL
EXPENSES WHICH MAY BE
INCURED IN THE TRANSFER
PROCESS, AND 5% HAS BEEN
CONCEDED TO THE LOCAL
BANKING OFFICER HERE
ASSISTING AND FACILITATING
THE TRANSFER. FINALLY 65%
WILL COME TO MYSELF AND
FAMILY AND A GOOD PART OF
THIS SHALL BE DIRECTED
TOWARDS EXECUTING HIS WILL,
WHICH IS TO BUY SHARES AND
STOCK IN FOREIGN COUNTRIES
AND TO SECURE HIS CHILDREN'S
FUTURE. TO FACILITATE THE
CONCLUSION OF THIS
TRANSACTION, IF ACCEPTED, DO
SEND TO ME PROMPTLY BY
E-MAILLING THE FOLLOWING:
1.NAME AND ADDRESS OF YOUR
BANK. 2. TELEPHONE AND FAX
NUMBERS THROUGH WHICH YOU
WILL BE CONTACTED PROMPTLY
BY ME FOR THE COMPLETION OF
THIS TRANSACTION.
PLEASE PROMISE ME YOU WILL
ASSIST ME, AND REMEMBER TO
KEEP THIS TRANSACTION VERY
CONFIDENTIAL,NOTE THERE IS
NO RISK INVOLVED.
I LOOK FORWARD TO HEAR FROM
YOU.
THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS.
MR ADAKU OGEIBRI
---
Dear Sir,
I don’t know who this other
person you were writing to
is , but, my name is Bo
Duke. I operate a moonshine
business with my brother,
Luke. You might say that we
are in the “distribution”
business. I am interested in
your proposal. I know a
little about steel – as I
have that album “british
steel” by Judas Priest.
Please tell me more.
Cincrely,
Bo Duke
Hazzard County, USA
---
DEAR BO
MANY THANKS TO RETUNING MY
E.MAIL SO QUICKLY. AS TIME
IS OF URGENT MATTER – I MUST
IMMEDIATELY RECEIVE YOUR
BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER
TELEPHONE NUMER OF YOUR
HOME. AS IHAV MENTION BEFORE
OGEIBRI,AFORMER DIRECTOR OF
ADMINISTRATION AND FINANCE
IN THE ALADJA STEEL ROLLING
MILL IN EFURUN NEAR WARRI,
DELTA STATE OF NIGERIA DIED
RECENTLY AND IT IS ONLY
THROUGH OUTSIDE HELP THAT WE
WILL BE ABLE TO TRANFER THE
FUNDS. FOR YOUR HELP MY
COMPANY IS READY TO PART
WITH 25% OF THE MONEY FOR
YOUR HELP.
MR ADAKU OGEIBRI
---
Dear Aduku,
Your proposal sounds pretty
interesting. I want to help
out. I have talked it over
with Uncle Jesse and Luke
and they think it is a very
sound idea. Americans
generally pride themselves
on being knowledgeable about
the outside world – but I
have never heard of Nigeria.
Is that in South America or
something? Let me know. Also
do they drive cars in South
America? I have a really
fucking badass car – it is
called the general lee, you
know after the civil war
general – we fought for YOUR
INDEPENDENCE. The doors
don’t work that well, so I
am going to use the money
that you will be giving me
to fix the doors. I am
enclosing a picture of me
and Luke – I am the pretty
one.
Gotta go – Dale Earnhardt is
on!
---
DEAREST BO
Thank you for being so
honest and open in your
e.mail. I have seen your
picture and you like a man
of great honest. I pledge to
you my loyalty. Finally, my
good friend, I will like you
to honest, sincere and
confidential until the funds
is transferred through the
bank to your own bank.
Please send your home phone
number, and bank account
number.
You can call me on my direct
number:234-8023536230
anytime of the day for
further discussion. I await
your response.
Yours Faithfully,
MR ADAKU OGEIBRI
---
Dear Aduku,
I am sorry that it took so
long to get back to you.
Africa! Well – Ill be
damned. I guess I should say
“G’Day Mate – Throw another
shrimp on the Barbie!”
Anyways, I have spend the
last few days in Jail. It
seems that Damn Boss Hog had
Sheriff Roscoe and Cletus
(with his hound dog Clyde)
put a tail on me and Luke.
We lost them for a while
when we took that jump, but
they caught us.
Daisy, my cousin, had to
bail us out by doing some
“favors” for the local law
enforcement or should I say
TO the local law
enforcement. She is getting
to be quite the young looker
these days – I have attached
a picture of her – She says
that she always wanted to go
to Africa because they have
great skiing.
You know I don’t know why
that damn Boss Hog is always
busting our balls, but, we
are just the good ol' boys,
Never meanin' no harm, Beats
all you've ever saw, been in
trouble with the law since
the day they was born. Makin'
their way, The only way they
know how,That's just a
little bit more than the law
will allow.
Anyways – I fixed up the
General lee with more “turbo
power” – NOS. They were
having a run on it at the
Wal-Mart. Do they have Wal
Marts in Africa?
PS are you Jewish?
Your brotha from anotha
motha,
Bo Duke
---
Dearest BO,
I am very sorry to hear
about your boss and the
recnt Jail. I hope that you
are ok and that your family
is ok since you have been in
the Jail. Ther is not Wal
Mart in Nigeria. Your Cousin
is a beautiful young lady. I
am not Jewish, I am tsetse.
It is very important that
you send $4000. I will give
you the bank name when you
are ready. Please call me on
my direct
number:234-8023536230. I
will like to discuss this
matter in confidence with
you. There are many peoples
who are trying to get this
money so we must move
quickly.
Yours faithfully,
MR ADAKU OGEIBRI
---
Dear ADUKU,
You read the bible? Well
there's this passage I got
memorized. Ezekiel 25:17.
"The path of the righteous
man is beset on all sides by
the inequities of the
selfish and the tyranny of
evil men. Blessed is he who,
in the name of charity and
good will, shepherds the
weak through the valley of
the darkness. For he is
truly his brother's keeper
and the finder of lost
children. And I will strike
down upon thee with great
vengeance and furious anger
those who attempt to poison
and destroy my brothers. And
you will know I am the Lord
when I lay my vengeance upon
you."
I been sayin' that shit for
years. And if you ever heard
it, it meant your ass. I
never gave much thought what
it meant. I just thought it
was some cold-blooded shit
to say to a motherfucker
before I popped a cap in his
ass.
I saw some shit this mornin'
made me think twice. See now
I'm thinkin', maybe it means
you're the evil man. And I'm
the righteous man. And Mr. 9
Milimeter here, he's the
shepherd protecting my
righteous ass in the valley
of darkness.
Or it could mean you're the
righteous man and I'm the
shepherd and it's the world
that's evil and selfish. Now
I'd like that. But that shit
ain't the truth. The truth
is you're the weak. And I'm
the tyranny of evil men. But
I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin'
real hard to be a shepherd.
I think that I need to
inform my lawyers about
this. They work for Rollins,
Imus, MacMahon, Johnson,
Ortiz and Baker
(collectively known as
R.I.M.J.O.B)about my
transactions.
PS I think I am starting to
develop feelings for Daisy
Duke…is that wrong?
I Love you,
Bo Duke
---
Dear BO,
I read the bible but am very
confused by this last email.
I don’t know what you mean.
Please call me I need to
talk to you immediately and
do not involve RIMJOB. It is
important we keep this a
secret. You can calls me
anytime my direct
number:234-8023536230. Also
send the $4000 directly to
Western Union office in
Lagos Nigeria. Much time has
passed and the account will
closing soon, my friend.
Yours Faithfully,
MR ADAKU OGEIBRI
---
Dear Aduku,
Or if that is your “REAL
NAME” I think that this is a
scam. Uncle Jesse says that
he has never heard of
“Lagos, Nigeria” I would
appreciate it if you used
your real name and real
countries not “Nigeria”. I
think that you are full of
shit. Also, I think that you
guys “made up” Koala bears –
those things aren’t “really
bears”. I liked INXS,
though.
Gotta go – Daisy is wearing
those damn shorts again and
I have a woody!
PS in my spare time, I like
to build Lego models of Star
Wars Episode IV - I have
attached a picture of Han
Solo and Greedo in the Bar
on Tatooine - right before
Han wastes Greedo. Is this
weird?
YEEEEEHAAAAAAAW!
XOXO
Bo Duke
---
Dearest BO,
Your must belive me. This is
not a scam, my dearest
friend. I too love you, we
must take this oportuniy
when the iron is hot.
Nigeria is a country in
Africa and I assure you it
is a real country – I have a
master degree in finance
from the univsreity of
Lagos.
Please sent the money to
Lagos Nigeria in the western
Union office to my name and
I will take care of things
from here. I am a completey
trustful person of good
faith and read the bible
everyday. You must believe
me, my brother.
I Love you too.
Yours Faithfully,
MR ADAKU OGEIBRI, M.S.
---
Dear Aduku,
I just got some really bad
news. They are replacing me
and luke with some fuckers
named Coy and Vance. Can you
believe that shit? I don’t
know what I am gonna do. I
think that Hardees is
hiring, though – so there is
that option. Someday – I
could be manager.
Besides – This was a total
joke on You my Nigerian
Friend! Thanks for the
Laughs, its been real!
Peace out.
Bo and Luke Duke
